Na-na-Na-na-Na-na BATMAN!!!

Oh wait, that’s not today. Or is it?

My bad for being confused, boring, and lame.

I have consumed enough Gatorade to hydrate a softball team today but i do not feel any better.  I wake up, drink another bottle and then go back to sleep, hoping that the next time I wake up my head will feel different.  My efforts have failed me.

Once again, I can not accurately account for the events that took place last night.  All I know is that I woke up this morning at 5AM in the bottom of the shower covered up with blankets.  I am guessing Madhat, not amused by my behavior, at least felt sorry enough for me that he turned off the water and covered me up.

I am thankful we have a shower on the bottom floor.

As I am getting out of the shower, I feel the stinging pain of both knees being skint.  Yes, it is very attractive but not as attractive as I was getting them.  I do have a hazy memory of walking home in the 35 degree rain in my designer high heels.  I fell.  I got up, and fell again.  I eventually just took my shoes off, not so that I could walk faster without falling, but so that I would not ruin them in the mud.  That was good logic, right?

My clothes are still in a pile just by the front door.  I will pick them up tomorrow when it hurts less to move.

For now, I am going to just sleep…

I am sitting at the Tipperary Inn trying to decide what I should eat before I commence to drinking a large amount of Jameson.  I find that whiskey stays down much better on a full stomach.

Madhat thinks that I am the designated driver.  Only because I told him I would be, not because I am not drinking.  I am predicting that we may end up with unexpected car trouble tonight and be forced to take a cab home.

This night should be lots fun!

Oh, and I decided on a Guinness Gouda Burger.  (if you care to know)

Today.

hmmmmm…

I did not even take a shower today and my armpits are kinda smelly.  I also need to brush my hair.

…but then I ask myself, “Why?”.

Tonight I went to the Stars game and watched them play the Canadians.  We lost 3-1.  Sucks my face off.

So to continue the bad luck,  I came home and ordered a dozen shitty hot wings and opened up an average bottle of  Valpolicella to ruin any chance of being health conscientious.  I expect to be very unhappy upon stepping on the scales first thing mañana.

Fuck it, raise your glass to the Canadians.

I want to do something to end this losing streak… Street Fighter 4.  The madhatter is afriad to play me; he is pretending to write a new tool to aviod my wrath.  He knows what’s best for him.

I decided to rewarded myself today by buying 2 pairs of fabulous new shoes that I have absolutely nothing to wear with. So you see, not only am I excited about my new shoes because they are fabulous, but because they undoubtedly guarantee further economic stimulus!!!! This should be good news for all. Oh happy day!

Madhat, realizing this himself, asked me if I had things to wear with the shoes. “I just don’t want to buy two pair of expensive shoes and then have to expand your wardrobe with something to go with the shoes, like we have done more than once. As long as you are sure you already have something”, he said.

Have I mentioned before that writing a blog is bound to get me in trouble? If not, please take note of that now.

Today is an average day.

I am sitting here, pissed off that I broke the coffee pot, thinking about things to write in this blog.

I was so excited to start this thing, thinking I could write about all my drunken debauchery and have a written account of all my misdoings.  However, there are a few problems with this idea.

First and most important: I would have to remember what I did.  This serves to be a big problem for me.  I have been told it is because I have selective memory, but I really think it is because I had to much fucking Jameson.  That could also be the possible cause of the headache I have now.

Second and also most importantly: I have probably told the only person who reads this blog a completely different story than what, hypothetically speaking, actually happened.  Of coarse, this is not because I am a liar.

Figuring this out, I was tempted to quit and take the site down.  However, I digress.

I am going to make this here blog something special.  Just wait and see.

Goody goody gum drops!!!!

I just wanted to say that I have a very good life, even though I get all upset about living here and am homesick. I just don’t get the people here and vice versa… Here in the good ol’ state of Texas, I do have a wonderful home, daughter, and pretty awesome baby daddy (when he is not out with hookers fatter than I am).

I just wanted to write something positive but don’t get used to it.